its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
