no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
