i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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