wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
