1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
