How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
