They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
