Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
