I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
