these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
