Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They are going to name an STD after you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
