Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
