Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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