yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
