this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
