We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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