Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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