Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
