Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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