im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
