Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
