I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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