Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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