exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
