mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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