is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
