**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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