i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
