If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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