just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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