when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
