Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
