she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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