his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my poor anus
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