My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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