so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
