Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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