Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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