Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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