this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
