I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He felt like a one man threesome
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
