I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
