What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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