so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
