Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
