We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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