my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
