honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
