I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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