It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
