i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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