I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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