Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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