6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
