You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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