Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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